To Clare on Her 3rd Birthday

{I wrote this last Friday, but didn't hit publish quickly enough, so today it is!}

Dear Clare,

Today, you are 3. And oh, are you 3! In the last few weeks, you have definitely become a threenager -- not always listening, opinionated about everything, and fighting with your brother.

But oh, you are such a treat to be around as well. You are so sweet and funny. You make friends everywhere you go, and usually, you lead some kind of running (and possibly squealing) activity. You are getting better at snuggling all the time. My favorite thing to do with you is snuggle up under a blanket and read a book together. Your favorite is to help me bake (and then lick the beater, of course).

Many mornings, we have "coffee" together before Peter wakes up. I have my coffee and you have a cup of milk. I have a feeling that is a tradition that will last us a long time. Quality time is definitely your love language. 

This has been a big year for you -- potty training, sleeping in a big girl bed (no rail!), making friends, growing a thousand inches, and blowing us away with the things you do and say.  

The dancing! Oh, the dancing! You are always dancing and twirling. Tutus, dresses, skirts, and ballet slippers galore! You are a princess. Or a ballerina. Or something. You are always imagining, acting out what you read and what you see on TV. (You love books and cartoons.) You are always in character -- and we are, too. My favorite lines are, "I'm not a Sheriff Callie, I'm a Clare Bear," and "I'm another animal. I'm Princess Sofia." Or Minnie Mouse. Or Angelina. Or Katerina Kitty Cat, meow meow.

Most importantly, you have a huge heart and a real love for people. And a real love for Jesus. You bring us joy everyday. I am so blessed to be your Mama. 

I love you, Sweetie Girl.

Love,

Mommy

January . . . an Update

I'm here. I'm alive.

Things have been one part crazy; one part a cold that will.not.go.away; one part my computer is beginning the sloooooooow death march, and sometimes I just don't want to deal with it.

But my little break left my typing fingers itching and reinvigorated me and allowed me to set some clearer personal blogging goals, which will hopefully mean more posts for the grandparents. *wink* Anyway, for today, a little update.

Peter

I never posted either an 8 month or 9 month update on Mr. Peter, because they have felt so repetitive the last couple of months. Sorry, Second Born. He is Mr. Guy Smiley. He's on the move -- now pulling up and cruising like a pro. He's starting to think about letting go and I'd not be surprised to see him try a few steps in the coming weeks.

He's popped four teeth -- the two lower, middle teeth, and two snaggle teeth (top laterals) -- still no front teeth (top middle), which is just too cute!

Coffee Spiller, Cup Stealer, Sign says it all

In the last couple of weeks, he's really gotten his night-sleep together and is consistently only waking once and sleeping 12+ hours. Probably not coincidentally, he's also turned into Mr. Big Eater, more or less glomming down everything on his tray. He's also still nursing 5-6 times per day. It takes a`lot of calories to make mischief the other 12 hours a day. ;-)

Clare

Half-birthday baby feeding

Clare's big news is that she's pretty much potty trained! Yay! She's totally got it, but we're still having issues away from home. She'll get there. In the mean time, we're very proud of her. I'm now quite firmly in the "potty train when your kids are very ready" camp. In case you care.

Gone fishin', Passed out at 4:15, 60* never looked so good, Makes me laugh every day

Otherwise, she's her usual, crazy, book-loving, ballerina princess self. Her new thing is "costumes." Yesterday, that meant black tights, her sparkly ballet flats, and her bathing suit from last summer (orange with a tutu). She used it to "ice skate" while we were watching figure skating yesterday afternoon.

Charles and Me

Charles survived his first OB rotation and his first Call Back weekend (big recruiting event for his residency program) as a resident. I survived as well. ;-)

His current rotation is an "off-service" number, so it's significantly lighter. He was even able to take a couple of days off, which we used to get rid of the much (MUCH!) hated green wall in our kitchen. I've seriously hated it since the very first time we saw the house, but also knew it was just paint. And now, it is nothing but a memory!! It's amazing how much difference that paint makes. We also painted the rest of the kitchen, going from a dingy grey-blue to an airy ice blue. *insert heart-eyed emoji* Like I told Charles, it will never be a dream space, but at least it's a space that feels like, "mine."

The colors read terribly in these, but you can (kinda) see the transformation.

We're also teaching Confirmation for our parish, and that has been a great experience, but that's another post for another day . . . probably Wednesday.

So that's that. Nothing major. Just life. Crazy beautiful life.

In the Kitchen with Clare

It was a rare, lazy Sunday morning, thanks to the Saturday Vigil Mass and Charles' scheduled Sunday shift. There were two well-overripe bananas (or "mananas" if you're Clare) itching to be mushed. So what did we do?

No, we did not make banana bread.

We made banana muffins to indulge in a little streusel topping. Yes, the recipe calls for nuts, but nuts in baked goods = wrong.

Clare still doesn't quite get the measuring or the waiting patiently and cleaning the kitchen while in the oven parts of baking, but she loves the mixing and "helping" prepare for the oven (scooping into muffin tins, shaping cookies, etc.) parts of baking. As a result, I normally get everything ready to go (do my mise en place, if you will) and call her in to help bring it all together. Then I distract her while I clean up, so she stops asking for a whatever it was we made while I tell her over and over that is has ___ more minutes in the oven.

On Sunday, since the muffins are a spoon batter instead of a stand mixer deal, she was an extra good helper:

Mixing

Licking the spoon

Eating

Yum!

I'm really starting to enjoy our little kitchen adventures together, and I know she does, too.

The Best Bad Day of my Mothering Career

I've been thinking a lot about one particular day from Clare's infancy. I wasn't blogging then, and at the time, I probably wouldn't have written about it beyond, maybe, in passing. I certainly wouldn't have written about it the same way I see things now.

Clare was not an easy baby. She was a little bit colicky. She was a lot fussy. We could fake it well from wake-up until mid-afternoon, which things would start tumbling downhill quickly. We would then spend hours nursing and bouncing and crying and desperately trying to calm her. She was also a spit-up prodigy -- but was deemed a happy spitter, so all we could do was wait for her to outgrow it. On top of it, at about 1 month, she had what I thought was a bad case of baby acne.

You can see the rash forming on her poor little cheeks.

On the day in question, things were particularly bad. Clare was just about 1 month and was mad as heck and not going to take it anymore. Nothing was working. Every time I nursed, she would start screaming and spit it all up. We must have changed her diaper a million times. A billion minutes of burping attempts. Gas drops. Gripe water. White noise. Walking. Rocking. Bouncing. Singing. Swinging. Swaying. The other two blasted Ss. You name it, we tried it. It.just.was.not.working.

Finally, at about the 4 hour mark, I lost it. I couldn't do it anymore. I knew that the poor thing just needed to sleep and wasn't giving in. Something must be wrong. Clearly, I was a horrible mother. I was exhausted and incompetent. I couldn't even soothe my own daughter. The tears began to flow.

That was the point when Charles stepped in. He put the baby in the swing. He put me on the patio with a glass of wine. He convinced me that letting the baby cry for a minute while he comforted me would be okay. Then he went inside and helped with the baby while I got some fresh air and relaxed. Finally she fell asleep and I went to bed and life went on.

The next day, we took a first-time-parents' trip to the pediatrician. In addition to reassurance about the reflux and the colicky disposition, we were encouraged to put something on the terrible rash. We stopped at the drugstore on our way home and bought a variety of lotions and potions. Once we put some Aveeno for Eczema on that rash, the poor girl relaxed and slept longer and deeper than she had in days -- maybe ever.

On the surface, it's the story of a bad day for new parents.

Looking back though, I learned the most important lesson I have as a mom. I learned to relax. As much as I would like to believe the contrary, I am not in complete control. Sometimes, I can do everything "right" and things still won't work out perfectly. Motherhood doesn't leave room for perfectionism. No matter what the outward appearance or blog or the Instagram feed tells you, we all have wounds and struggles and battle scars. We all have successes and failures. We're good enough and we fall far short.

That's parenthood, for better or for worse.

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 64

Must be Friday. Joining Jen, fancy pants author and all.

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1. I love, love, love sweet teeny tiny newborns. What I don't love, and struggle, struggle, struggle with is the lack of schedule/routine. We are a household of routine people -- even Clare needs her routine or else -- and it (obviously) takes babies awhile to get into one. I know that we'll get there, so I'm feeling less twitchy about it with Peter than I did with Clare. I love the tiny baby snuggles and know they don't last long. But there are still plenty of evenings that leave me longing for the structure that that future must surely hold.

2. I have a problem. I am pretty much obsessed with this look. I retake the same photo at least once a week, because it is so sweet. These moments are so fleeting, and I don't want to forget.

 3 weeks

2 weeks

1 week

1 day

3. Sign that time is moving way too fast: Peter is going to be a month old next week. Wasn't I just complaining about still being pregnant? Where did the time go? On that note, fair warning that there will be monthly update posts for the next 12 months. :)

4. Always ready to assist Baby Peedow, Clare helped me get out the door to run some errands on Tuesday by buckling Peter into the car seat while I checked that there were diapers in my bag:

Nailed it.

Don't worry fellow car-seat safety obsessives. I fixed it. :)


5. The other day, I took Clare for a cookie and run at a local outdoor shopping area. She had been before, but she really noticed the fountains this time, and kept talking about "splashdown, water." I repeat myself, I know, but I love seeing everyday things through the eyes of my kids. Talk about seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary.

6. 'Cause she is just too cute.

7. Charles is off to Wichita this weekend for a little house-hunting expedition. Praying for safe travels, success on the housing front, and sanity for this Mama home with her two littles.

The gruesome twosome

Have a lovely weekend!