Growth Curve -- Medical Mondays

It's over. The Great Adventure known as "away rotations," that is.

As grateful as I was to come home. As many ups and downs (and, let's be honest, there were more ups than downs) as we had along the way. As overjoyed as I am to know that, a few weeks from now I will not, in fact, be packing and cleaning and driving 12+ hours to some destination. As crazy as it sounds, I was a little bit sad for it to be over.

In addition to fun, adventure, family time, I learned a lot about myself along the way. I think it's the first step of the residency growth curve -- one I think my whole family will experience in our own ways.

St. Louis

I learned (or learned more deeply):

***The value of simple living. Yes, I can wear the same 5-7 outfits for a month. Yes, I can fit a month's worth of clothing in a suitcase. Yes, I can pack the essentials for a family of 3 into the trunk of a sedan. It is truly eye-opening to realize how much you don't need, even if those things are nice to have.

***How to be even more careful with meal planning and smart grocery shopping. I've long been a meal planner, but I took it to a new, no-waste level when we were on the road. I didn't want anything left at the end of 4 weeks. As a result, my grocery bills were consistently lower than they are at home. Admittedly, home shopping includes more non-grocery items and more "stock up on sale" items, but I am trying to shop smarter. And clean out the pantry, full of half-used junk.

Denver (fine, Vail)

***The value of getting out of the house -- to play, to go for a walk, to run errands, whatever. Because we only had one car, I had to get creative with getting out of the house. I can definitely see how my mood changes when I'm cooped up too long. I might be an introverted stay at home mom, but I can't stay in the home all day every day.

***The value of getting out of the house -- to explore, to experience, to do. At home, it is easy to get bogged down with chores, to-do lists, obligations, expectations, ruts, etc. On the road, we were committed to maximizing our weekends -- trying new restaurants, being tourists, seeing family, getting out to see what a new city had to offer. We had so much fun. So much fun. I think that is what made the experience so wonderful and memorable for me. I hope to incorporate it more into our "real" lives, both here and wherever we land in the new (medical) year.

***That we really, truly will be okay wherever we land. Now, I'm not just saying it. I know it.

Wichita

{Linking up with Your Doctor's Wife, From a Doctor's Wife, and D-Isis for Medical Mondays!}

 

Pack 'em Up and Move 'em Out

It is packing week!

That brings good news and bad news.

The good news is that sometime in the late hours of Saturday, we'll be home! In Phoenix! And we'll stay there (well, minus a ton of interview travel -- mostly Charles -- and normal things like visiting family for a long weekend or whatever) until after Charles' graduation in June! Our own beds, kitchens, closets (I'm seriously itching to do a big, fat purge).

That bad news is that this week is going to be insane. Repacking all of our stuff (for the last time!). Cleaning. Cleaning. More cleaning.

On top of it, Charles has an interview with the program here on Thursday, plus a pre-interview dinner Wednesday night. That, of course, brings with it interview stress and nerves and thinking such pleasant thoughts as, "What is my biggest failure? How did I learn from it?"

Then we get to drive umpteen million miles home. Avec baby and pregnant lady. Always fun.  To get to a place with decidedly higher temperatures. Boo!

All of which means, I probably won't touch the blog again until next Monday.  But don't worry. I'll be back. (Pretend I said that Arnold-style.)

One cute baby for the road.

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 40

Linking up with Jen. And her flock of lovely, loyal Quick Takers.

1. I cut my thumb making dinner Wednesday night. It wasn't bad or deep or anything. But it is tender, and it is on the very top of my right thumb. The top of your right (or dominant) thumb is one of those corners of your body that you don't really realize how often you use until it's sore and covered in a band-aid. Fun.

2. Clare has two obsessions of the week. Both thanks to Fisher Price's Little People. The first is Let's Go to the Zoo. The second is Noah from Noah's Ark. She like the animals and all, but Noah seems like he has gone everywhere with us for the last 2 days. And the book -- well, it's a parent's worst nightmare when it comes to reading, but read it we do. It goes a little something like this:

Clare toddles over and shoves book in my face. Okay, we can read the Zoo book! We read one page (2 sentences) and start lifting the flaps and talking about the animals. She decides to stare obsessively at the snakes. We talk about the snakes saying "hiss" and I zone out for a second, because I've been talking about animal sounds for 5 minutes and can only say "hiss" so many times. I'm smacked out of it by the book being shoved back into my face. Oops! Yes, look at the monkeys! What do the monkeys say?

All day. Every day. At least it feels like it.

Via

3. I'm delightfully entering the era of "only Mom can tell what Junior is saying." The other night, I was trying to convince Charles that there is, in fact, a difference between "Noah" and "giraffe" or "Nooooowuh" "guuuuwuh," as the case may be.

Snacks with Noooowah

4. Um, one week left in Wichita? How can that be?!? It's been a good 3 weeks. Maybe I'll have more reflections this time next week.

5. 16-weeks!! How can that be?!? I was terribly inconsistent about taking bump pics with Clare. I can't imagine I'll be any better this time around, but I'm currently convinced I'm going to look about the same for another 10 weeks (Ha!) while by baby catches up with the bloat, so I'm giving it a shot.

Bathroom shot, editing fail, and middle finger. The trifecta. And 15w6d, but close enough.

6. 16 weeks means baby is the size of an avocado. Maybe. Depending on who you ask. I enjoy the fruit/veggie comparisons while the baby is tiny and I find myself in awe at God's handiwork. You know, "Ohemgee! There is a really, little tiny person in there!!" Then, sometime around week 20, the comparisons get weird and/or confusing. Meanwhile, baby starts transforming from miracle to ninja. Which is a better game, Little One? Kick Mama in the Ribs or Use her Bladder as a Trampoline? At least that was my experience with Clare; we'll see what the coming months mean for the Bean. My guess is more of the same. :)

7. This happened. I wasn't planning on it, so I didn't have a comb. But my Mom-heart is happy.

PigtailS!

Uh oh! is right!!

Have a lovely Friday!

5 Favorites, Vol. 20

Linking up for 5 Favorites with the lovely Hallie.

1. Fall. Yeah, I know that loving fall has become totally cliche. Yes, I have discussed fall at length myself. Buuuuuut, people, I haven't had a good, old-fashioned, real fall (vs. we call it "fall" because the weather dips below 100, and maybe even 90) in a lot of years, and it feels good. So good. Plus, boots. I broke 'em out. Yes, maybe it made me look like a Patton (if you discount the brown locks and lack of Hunters, bien sur), because no one else thinks it's particularly cool. But I'm a happity, happy camper.

Baby in autumn, with stick.

2. Babies -- Maybe I've said it a million times, but I don't care. I love 'em. And with so many on the way in my real life and BlogLand, I'm in swoony baby land.

Yes, they turn into toddlers. Don't rain on my parade. Via

3. Lovely Loss Tributes -- It isn't a favorite that so many have experienced the pain of miscarriage, infertility, and infant loss, but it was a joy to see so many lovely tributes to those babies in Heaven yesterday. While I only have siblings in Heaven, I have no idea what the future may hold. I pray with and for all of you.

Via

4. Quiet Mornings of Solitude -- Clare has been sleeping late (for a baby!) while we've been here, and Charles has to be at the hospital early. It leaves me with these lovely mornings of quiet that really refresh me. I've not been as productive as perhaps I should be. I use the time to drink a quiet cup of coffee and peruse the internet at leisure. Maybe tap out a blog post or email, like I'm doing now. But the time, cool and dark, is refreshing to me.

Via

5. Coffee -- I can happily report that my taste for coffee is now fully restored. I still try to limit my caffeine intake and up my water intake (read: drink less coffee/day) during pregnancy. But beautiful, tasty, wonderful coffee is back, just in time for the holidays! Wahoo!!

Via

Happy Wednesday!

When the Lights Went Out

Yesterday had all the makings of an idyllic Sunday. We slept late (for parents -- after 7) and decided that, if we hurried, we could make 9am Mass. And did it with time to have our choice of seats. After Mass, we headed to breakfast. Yum!

The afternoon was quiet: nap/quiet/down time for everyone before we decided to run a couple of errands and hit the playground. Done and done.

It was the first time Clare really "got" the playground equipment. She figured out how to scramble up the toddler play structure and go down the slide (with some launching help from Daddy). She called it "whee" probably because I say it every.time. she goes down. Over and over and over, scampering by another little boy every.single.time. His dad even commented that she was "a woman on a mission," which gave me a good chuckle.

Before she figured it out herself.

I've said 1,000 times and I'll say it a million more. The best part of parenting -- for me -- is watching my child(ren) "figure it out." Every time Clare learns a new trick, masters a new skill, or surprises me with what she can do, my heart beats proudly and I smile. What a joy! What a miracle!

Finally, we dragged our tired, sandy daughter away. She had to be carried, but not without seeing a "puppy" pass by and adorably, frantically trying to find the lost puppy. "Puppy. Puppy. Puppy . . . puppy?!?"

We headed home to make tacos and have a quiet evening at home. It wasn't meant to be.

When we got home, the comedy of errors began. The garage door wouldn't work. And of course, we didn't bring the keys (stupidly, admittedly). New battery? No go. So we checked all the doors we had carefully locked. Nada. And tried the key pad for the garage. No such luck. As we were calling our "backup" in hopes that he had a key (thank God, he did!!), our neighbor stopped by to say hi and ask if our power was out, too.

Oooooooooooh! That explains everything now, doesn't it?!?

So, we drove to pick up our miracle key. Drove home to make sure it worked. Yay! Found the power was still out. Grabbed keys and disengaged the garage door. Headed out to pick up dinner, exhausted, and not wanting to mess with powerless dinner in a home that is only very temporarily ours.

Of course, the power was still out when we got home, so we fumbled around to find a flashlight, and pour all three of us into bed.

Clare was asleep pretty much before we got out of her room. I don't think either of us slept well before the power came back on at about 11, and morning came too soon, especially for Charles who had to be at the hospital at 6. But, we survived the crazy!

Our take-aways for the day:

• Take the keys with you, dodo-brains.
• Put a flashlight and extra batteries in my emergency car kit.
• If we're ever staying somewhere that's not our own, especially if our hosts aren't present, we should identify the locations of things like candles, flashlights, matches, fire extinguishers, etc. before we need them.
• Clare on the playground is about the best thing in the world.

I mean, how can you resist?

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 39

It's Friday, what did you expect?!? Linking up with Jen.

1. I can't believe we're basically half-way through with our time in Wichita. The time so far has flown. It has been a great experience so far, and I have high hopes for these next two weeks.

More patio cuteness.

2. As we inch further and further into fall, I return to my annual perplexed state. When did Halloween turn into such a thing? I feel like there are two Halloween camps. The first loves Halloween as much, or more, than any other holiday ev-er. Decor pins on Pinterest. Food pins. And on and on. The second eschews Halloween as evil. Huh? I feel like the only person in the world (or at least access to Target) that has a wholly moderate view of the whole thing. I enjoy it for a day. I take cute pictures of my kid dressed up. Trick or treat or whatever. Move on with my life. Done, done, and done.

3. And when did Hocus Pocus become the it movie?!? I mean, I've seen it. Once. But I missed the memo on being obsessed with it. #outoftheloop

4. On the other hand, I am a big, fat, huge, massive fan of harvest fall. I'm a gigantic Thanksgiving geek. I am totally fine with pumpkins and gourds and Pilgrims and corn stalks. Team Turkey, fo' so'.

5. Speaking of holidays, Clare is going through her obsession with Mardi Gras beads phase, which she found in the play cabinet here. I guess I'm glad that it's now and not in college. Right?!?

Hard to see in the blur, but she's holding her beads and grinning.

6. Night-shift 2/2 for the rotation. Same dealio as last week: Project Runway in real time and the second half of my sorbet. Loverly.

7. I made these cake mix cookies this afternoon. I want to be anti-boxed cake mix, but the semi-homemade-ness of the recipe walked the line between my desire to bake and my limited supplies on the road. I used chocolate cake mix and chocolate chips. Charles thought they were a fantastic cookie-brownie hybrid. I thought they would have been better with peanut butter chips. Taste is subjective, I guess. *bigwink*

A small sampling

Have a lovely weekend!

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 38

Joining Jen and friends for 7QTs.

1. People love to ask how things are going in _________. The thing though, is that (aside from my whining) life is life wherever we are. What we see outside the windows may change. The rooms may change. The number of people we know in an x-mile radius may change, but we don't change. One thing that has really helped Clare is keeping her routine. Meaning we still eat breakfast and lunch and dinner. We still get dressed and ready. We still play and read. Charles goes to "work" and comes home from work. The sun goes up. The sun goes down. Another day.

2. The real first-world-problem drag about this rotation is that I've hit that awkward point in pregnancy when my normal clothes are getting too tight and my maternity stuff is still too big. Packing was a drag (most forgiving items from both wardrobes ended up in the suitcase), and my wardrobe would be much more flexible at home. Like I say, total first-world-problem.

3. I swore way back when that on night that Charles can't be home for dinner I would at least occasionally indulge and make a real dinner that he wouldn't eat anyway. Don't get me wrong. I'm not above macaroni, hot dogs or grilled cheese. I'm sure those will be in heavy use on future night float rotations. But last night, I made a semi-homemade chicken potpie.I was inordinately proud of myself until I teeny bit of juice overflowed (and of course I didn't have a pan under the pie plate. Bad, Ash!!), and the drippings must have smoked enough to set the super sensitive (??) smoke alarm off. Thankfully, turning on the vent fixed it rapidamente, but there were a couple of highly frustrated minutes there.

Pre-baked beauty. Store bought crust. Someday, I'll master the real deal.

4. I'm excited for cool weather this weekend. I know, I know. No one cares about the weather. Especially normal fall weather. But oh my gosh!! I am so excited!!

5. Too much rambling about nothing? Photo break!!

Loving the yard!

6. Part II of surviving Night 1 of 2 (that ain't nothin'!!) of night shifts while we're here?!? Project Runway (in real time, what?!?) and mango sorbet. Yep. Wild. And. Crazy. But PR is making me think of this pretty green butterfly we see in the yard that is so beautifully camouflage with the plants. Train of thought? Time to put this post to a merciful end.

7. I'm just ready for the weeeeeeeeeeeekend. I love these glorious weekends on the road when Charles is off and we both feel able to take advantage and appreciate the time as a family fully. Contentment. Joy. Bliss.

Have a lovely weekend!

Wacky Wild Wichita Style

Ok, I don't know if Wichita qualifies as either wacky or weird. But I haven't been here long enough to pass judgement on wonderful, though we've certainly enjoyed our first 36 hours or so, and alliteration seems appealing since I've only had 1/3 cup of coffee.

Anyway . . . we're in Wichita, safe and sound.

The drive was looooong, but uneventful. We made it out of town Friday afternoon to shave a few hours off, and hit the road again before the crack of dawn on Saturday. This was I-40 before we stopped for breakfast:

Sunrise over the horizon

Then, when I wasn't driving and listening to a John Grisham (I even had Charles interested in this one -- win!), I had this view:

Then, finally, this was out the rear window as we drove across Kansas:

Driving at sunrise and sunset. (Not) awesome.

But, like I say, we made it safe and sound. Yesterday, we were able to sleep late (Clare still seems to be on MST), go to a lunchtime Mass, and do a little exploring (and grocery shopping). Overall, we've liked the little bit of Wichita we've seen (and the house, which belongs to some friends, is wonderful!). Today, Charles is on Day 1 of his rotation, and we are awfully excited about it. So far, so good.

Group selfies by the river

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 37

Joining Jen et al. I think I can actually make these quick. Aaaaaand go.

1. I should be packing or doing something productive to get ready for the trip to Wichita, buuuuut. I'm going to do this first. In my defense, I have most stuff ready to go. It's just taking a shower and getting last minute stuff ready spaghetti to go. I've gotten pretty good at that this summer.

2. I'm not, not, not looking forward to the drive. Being in Wichita, 4 weeks. Got it. We're gonna rock it. It will fly. Never thought I would look forward to going to Wichita. But getting there? Not so much.

3. I owe lots of thank yous for congratulations and well wishes after my little announcement this week!! We're so happy and excited!

4. Here are some more outtakes from our failed photoshoot. Usually Clare will point at my tummy when you ask her were the baby is, but put a camera in front of her and . . . no go. She will not perform for an audience. Ever ever never.

5. Yesterday was the first day Clare showed more interest in walking than crawling. We're hoping the trend continues. She's also getting up and down from the couch like it's her job. And hasn't gotten injured yet. We consider that a win.

6. My amazing brother-in-law (well, both of my brothers-in-law are amazing, but this is Charles' brother) sent me a box of Harry & David peaches for my birthday that arrived the other day. I have been gorging us all on amazing peachy goodness. So much yumminess!!! Feeling spoiled.

7. Keeping it all in perspective: an old friend from junior high/high school/family friend just got a rough diagnosis for his son who is just a few weeks younger than Clare. The family can use all the prayers they can get, if you will oblige.

One half-watched episode of Bubble Guppies and done!! Not bad!

Have a lovely weekend!

I Don't Whine Well

I'm not good at whining. I'm not writing this as some sort of blog-wars crown of nonsense. I've said before I love lots of blogs out there -- some whiny, some picture-perfect. I like honesty and realness, whatever that is to you. And for me, that's not whining. I have never been much of a complainer. Even when something is off, I'm more likely to mention it as fact than a "woe be unto me" kinda thing.

All of that is to remark on how much lame, embarrassing whining there was in yesterday's post. Believe it or not, I edited it heavily and tried to make it neatly tied up in a less-whiny bow, but . . . whiny nonetheless.

Apropos of nothing -- Clare and her puppies (and Daddy)

On Houses and Homes

Over the course of 8 weeks this summer, we lived in two short-term, furnished rentals. We were blessed to find them both via Craigslist. True story. We had a good house with a bad landlord and a bad house with a good landlord. It has given me some time to reflect on things that really make a house a home.

First, some long-promised notes on things the whackadoo crazy landlord who drove me batty in St. Louis. These are the most memorable:

• She would come over without warning. Or calling from the driveway telling us that she was about to enter.
• She was so afraid of something happening to her wood floors or 40-year-old furniture that we were paranoid about doing something to them. As a result, we could never fully relax. 
• She was afraid of soap scum on her bathroom tile, so asked us to only use health-store soap. I'm not faulting anyone who chooses natural health and beauty products. I am saying it's a personal decision, and if I want to use soap, I'm gonna use soap. And we did.
• She decided to strip the basement floors without any warning whatsoever. So Clare and I spent a morning breathing noxious fumes, listening to loud, scary (for Clare) noises, trapped in Clare's bedroom (because, of course, Charles drove to work that day, so I didn't have a car so we could escape). 
• She came over a couple of times to show the house to potential future renters, which was totally fine. The first time, she called in advance (!!!!) and we got the house cleaned up and the baby chaos toys contained. The second time, she called as we were sitting down to dinner. We ate a cold meal that evening, because we have enough dignity to not want her showing her house strewn with toys, dirty dishes (from, you know, cooking said dinner), etc.
• She openly admitted to some sketchy things she does to go around the occupancy codes. That left us unimpressed, but at least it didn't affect us, so we didn't feel the need to make waves.

Babies, furniture, and food . . . oh my!

And some things that have made the Denver house less-than-ideal:

• No central air conditioning -- Do I love living in a place where "hot" is over 100 and "really hot" is over 110? Not particularly. I dread the first triple-digit day with the best of 'em and watch eagerly for the last one. Then for the last 90 degree day of the calendar year -- hopefully in October, but too often in November. What makes it all tolerable, though? Central air.
• Stuff. Everywhere.
• No washer-dryer -- It has been years since I have had to go very far to get to my very own washer-dryer. Did I take that for granted quite often? Heeeeeck yes. Did I appreciate the h-e-double-hockey-sticks out of it when Clare was spitting up hourly? Double h-e-hockey . . .  yes, yes, I did. But did I realize how many little tiny perks come from having your own laundry tools at your disposal until I had to make multiple trips to the laundromat each week to keep us all in clean underwear. No, no, no. I was happy, very happy, to have my washer back.
• Split-levels -- it don't know that it would be that big of a deal if this was our place and we could thoughtfully employ baby gates, or if it was not such an attractive nuisance for her, but as it is, I spent four weeks hawk watching to make sure Clare didn't hurl herself down stairs or whatnot.
• The plumbing drama -- somehow, it turned into my problem, and I was not invested beyond the inconvenience of brushing my teeth in the kitchen. Plus, had it been my problem, I'd have been less picky about the particular plumber in the interest of getting the job taken care of and more interested in simply getting the job done. At least I can happily report that it was taken care of.
• Not having separate spaces for Clare and us -- It was a real challenge not having a safe place for Clare to play that didn't double as our space. Finding creative ways to keep things out of her ever-expanding reach kept us on our toes.
 

 

Beyond that door? A foot-wide ledge and several step high drop off.

So, with those things in mind, what makes a house a home? I've had this sitting in draft for, literally, over a month trying to answer that question articulately. And it left me doing a lot of soul-searching. One thing that kept creeping into my head was, "Home is where the heart it." If my heart is in my spiffy kitchen gadgets, fancy couch or king-sized bed, there's something wrong. My heart is with my family, and they were with me the whole time.

We have been so blessed to have places to stay the whole time we were on the road, and even more blessed to have plenty of space in those houses. In many ways, I think I've been blessed with the gift of perspective, a new way of seeing and appreciating all that I do have.

That said, coming home to our space was such a breath of fresh air. We have relished in a renewed way our stuff, our autonomy, and the comfort of our own space. And I think this perspective will carry me far in Wichita. I'm excited to embrace the real truth, which is that, at the end of the day, we have each other. We have food and shelter and our health.

Where my heart really is.

The rest is gravy.