Getting By with Coffee and Prayer

If you spend enough time clicking around Internetland, you'll find myriad posts about how kids help us to Heaven. How our kids sanctify us through trials, through sacrifice, through highlighting our own shortcomings.

My kids are sanctifying me by driving me to prayer.

I mentioned on Sunday that I've been struggling to incorporate personal prayer into my day. As if on cue, my kids turned into whiny, needy, non-sleeping messes. Of course, it coincided with Charles' first week of residency nights -- meaning long days of solo-parenting (save an hour in the morning and another in the afternoon). Being me, I fight through, la dee dah.

Then the other shoe fell. Today was a super coffee day.

Not sleeping selfie

That is putting a positive spin on the fact that I spent a lot of time awake last night, dealing with a hungry, non-settling Peter and an uncharacteristically upset and non-sleeping Clare. And what did I find myself doing? Rocking and praying. Praying and snuggling. Praying.

I have learned time and again that He will give me the grace to rise out of the trenches, if only I ask. I just have trouble asking for help, even from God.

Today, I was rewarded. I was able to find some peace. Peter napped. I am typing to the tune of sleeping babies.

He even fell asleep during tummy time!

I'd like to say that I've learned my lesson and that I've turned a corner and things will be different from now on. But we all know the truth. It might be better for awhile, and then I'll start to slip. And eventually, God will once again find a way for my children to lead me to Him. What I can count on is His constancy. He will be there with waiting arms when I, once again, turn to the only source of enough strength to be not just Mom enough, but to be the mother He made me to be.